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 The Personal Guide to Bailing Out on Friends

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MandaNoel07
The Saucy Manager
The Saucy Manager
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Female Pisces Snake
Posts : 878
Join date : 2009-04-30
Age : 28
Location : The backroad sticks of Appalachia

20100411
PostThe Personal Guide to Bailing Out on Friends

Denial wrote:
What the flying turkey penis?

No truer words could have ever been spoken. After all, it's all this week lacks to make it complete. So, to help the rest of you with your week, I decided to give you a bit of instruction on how to bail out on your friends.Here's how my friends bailed out on me in the past week! You can learn too. Just follow their example.

The past week, I was supposed to help out at a church garage sale. (My aunt forgot I was supposed to ride with her and she left me at home.)

Then I was supposed to go to help my friend pick her something out to buy, just because she wanted it. (She tried lying and saying she thought I had gone with my aunt even though, I clearly told her I wasn't going and then tried to pull the "I've had alot on my mind." Which soon turned into, "My problems are worse than everyone elses, and I'm going to be a fucking bitch and tell you that because I can, even though you have problems of your own, but mine are worse because I went out fucking my boss from work, while I was on rebound from my boyfriend, and now I'm claiming I might be pregnant because I not only don't know which one would be the daddy, but I stopped using my birth control, and had unprotected sex like the fucktard that I am. Not to mention, someone found out about me and my boss and now has it going around that I'm a whore, but it's not my fault I couldn't keep my fucking legs closed. Oh, and I only think I'm pregnant. The unprotected sex only occurred two days ago, but with the luck I've been having I probably am. Oh, *sigh* that's the reason I'm setting here and lying to you and telling you I went to bed, and I answered my text, even though I don't have service, and now suddenly I was in the car with mom going to get something to eat, not sleeping at all. I hope you still think good of me." )

Then I was supposed to go clubbing with my room mate. Well, this one here gets complicated. First off I wanted to go, but I was told that the only reason women went to those things were to get laid, not completely true, not completely false. We were going to dance. Anyways, so after arguing over it for about a week, my roommate comes in to tell me, we're not going. Why are we not going? She doesn't want to go to the place, because someone told her it's supposed to be crowded. Kind of defeats the purpose, eh? So, I end up staying here, by myself, while she went to her moms. Well, I end up at the apartment alone, because Paul actually ends up taking off too. So, I ended up staying here again, by myself.

Well, the next day to make up for it Heather and I were going to go to the movies. Well, that didn't work out either. Her car's breaks went out. So, that day was a no no too. Well, Heather ends up inviting her friends over here, while another one of her friends sleeps off her hangover and we talk for a while, that's about it. Except, I'm once again stuck in the apartment. Not to mention on that day I had had to walk a good 2 miles to and from the clinic to have fucking chest x-rays.

So, then, yesterday, I finally do get to get out, sort of. It's one of those learning experience school trips, and it was one of those trips that you really wish you hadn't gone anywhere afterwords. It would have been better if I had stayed home. Well, we went to see the Broadway musical tour of Mama Mia. It was enjoyable. Except for the whole fucking time I'm out, I have this fucking ass migrane. It gets even better when I politely mention this to the fucking jerk who sat beside me, who generously offered to punch my leg so that it would hurt the rest of the trip and I wouldn't have to worry about my head anymore. Upon refusal he offers to break my arm. What's better is when we went to dinner at this authentic Japanese restaurant (which was the best part; the food). I somehow manage to get set next to this dude again, who sets there and kicks me the entire time, even though I have my ankles crossed and pushed back under my seat to stay out of the way, because he was like basically doing it on purpose. Well, he goes out side to smoke and I get told, "Good grief, I keep kicking your legs. I'm sorry, but they're in my freaking way." -_-;; Asshole. So, we get on the bus and by then my head is throbbing so bad that I can't even look at the light, well, he decides to take his cell phone out and play two songs on repeat at full fucking blast. I politely mention that the music is hurting my head, but he only turns it up louder. So, I go lay down in the back of the bus, and cover my ears. Then I come back to my dorm and my room mate eats all my Japanese food I brought back. ( I had planned to save some of it for today so that I wouldn't have to cook.) Followed a little later by me trying to tell Paul something, which ended up with me getting mad then too. So, I was so pissed off last night that I had the most restless sleep in my life, and even though I was having nightmares, I forced myself to stay in bed and sleep more. TADA!!!!! By the way, I'm not really mad at him anymore. I'm just tired, and stress eating. Been doing alot of that lately. I'm going to end up gaining the freshman fifteen my junior year in three weeks. Unimpressed

_________________
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. ---Mark Twain
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