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 Noodle Shop - That Pest Lune

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The Butt Dancing™ Admin
The Butt Dancing™ Admin

Female Capricorn Monkey
Posts : 637
Join date : 2009-04-29
Age : 85
Location : The Metropolitan Sock Museum

PostSubject: Noodle Shop - That Pest Lune   Wed May 20, 2009 1:48 pm

Noodle Shop - That Pest Lune

by Axel Alloy

Lambi rolled her eyes as a big fat customer entered ‘Noodle Shop’. He was wearing a big red shirt and had big dark patches under his arms where he was sweating under the weight all those rolls of flab.

He lurched his way to the counter and perched on the nearest stool. Lambi honestly thought it was going to snap like a toothpick, but was somewhat relieved when it didn’t. Although, she had to admit, it was making some rather nasty grating sounds.

“The poor stool must be in so much pain”, she muttered under her breath before grinning wildly at the customer, “Geia sou! And what is it you would liiike!?” The brute screwed his face up over the volume of her voice and just grunted a few words. “Okay! One house special comin’ up!” She turned to wave at the cook and swiveled back to face the lump. After a while of waiting and Lambi grinning nervously over how long it was taking, the food was finally done and so she handed it over. He snatched it off her, grunted and stomped his way out the door.
“Oh my poor stool.”

Lune, who was busy watching the events unfold from in Lambi's hair, chuckled to himself as he manifested in front of her with a sly grin.

"Want me to go end him?"

Lambi screwed her nose up at Lune and stuck out her tongue.

"Don't be nasty. I can replace the stool."

"Don't you mean I'LL be replacing the stool. It's my magic that keeps this place going after all."

Rolling her eyes, Lambi turned on her heels and gave the fire genie a little defiant wiggle from her wooly tail before going to join Luigi in the kitchen.

"Oh, yes. Fine. Be like that!" Lune cupped his hands around his mouth to project his voice in a playful manner. "I think I'll go make that tub of goo my pet!"

"I CAN'T HEEEAR YOOOU!" Lambi chirped, pretending not to hear Lune's nasty, yet hilarious threats.

Luigi, the noodle chef, shook his head. He knew they were only playing, but his nervous disposition made him feel like something bad would come of every mock arguement the pair had. It never did, of course, but there was always that 1% chance that it could happen. Luigi didn't like chance. Chance was his enemy. Especially the 1% chance that Lune would get so hot-headed that he'd cause Lambi's wool to ignite with a simple click of his fingers. It hadn't happened yet, but he wasn't willing to risk it.

"Shattap you two! Can't a man work-a in peace?!" His Italian accent always grew more prominent the more stressed out he got. "Cara mia, would you kindly tell that genie to stop-a threatening our customers?!"

Lambi raised an eyebrow at Luigi's request and turned her head sharply to face Lune to see his reaction. Unfortunately, he had vanished. "Ah well," giggled Lambi, who was checking inside her bell and in her hair to make sure he'd not gone back home, "At least you'll get some peace now."

Luigi was just sorting out a Noodle pizza they had on special order. He put the pizza on the tray and then turned to face Lambi. "I doubt it. I just know he's around here somewhere up to no good."

"You worry too much."

"I worry the right amount!"

Lambi swatted a hand at him, before heading inside the main restaurant to check on her bent stool. It was not long before she was interrupted by a high-pitched, girly shriek from in the kitchen. Luigi had opened the pizza oven to find Lune inside it wearing a big grin on his face holding up a dog lead. "Would you prefer I made you my pet instead? EHEHEHE!" Luigi ran out of the kitchen in terror and hid in the toilets.

"LUNE!" Lambi strided in and stared at Lune, who was still crammed into the pizza oven. "THAT WASN'T NICE! Go and say you're sorry this minute!"

"Aw, chicky-chick. I was having fun, is all." Lune put on his puppy eyes and slowly slid out the oven.

"Hmph." The 'I'm Serious' look formed on her face to counter his puppy eyes.

"OK, OK. Fine. I'll go say sorry to the worry-wart."

With that he manifested a simple flower made from spectral flames, handed it to Lambi and floated off towards the toilets.

"About time he did something nice..." Lambi twirled the flower around in her hand and sniffed at it, just in case it smelled of anything.

In the toilets, Luigi was sobbing uncontrollably into a big pile of tissues he had in his hand. Lune, or something else always managed to reduce him to tears. It's why he was never hired by any of the high-class restaurants he so longed to cook in. He had just manged to regain his composure, wiped his eyes and nose and flushed the tissue down the toilet, when all of a sudden, Lune popped his head out of the toilet bowl.

"AY UP, MATE! I'm sorry about before!"

"ARRRRRGGGGH! THAT PEST!" Luigi raced out of the toilet and out the back entrance.

Lambi put her head in her hands.


Noodle Shop, Lambi, Mini Lune, Lune and Luigi © Deborah Taylor.
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The Curious One

Male Leo Dragon
Posts : 65
Join date : 2009-05-20
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Noodle Shop - That Pest Lune   Wed May 20, 2009 2:03 pm

Quirky. Best word I can think of. I really like how firm a grasp you have on the subjects in your works. Especially their interactions. You're quite masterful with that! It's impressive, really. Basically, they speak good. Nice banter and all.

Only thing I made add in criticism or something resembling it is refining a few of your descriptions. Things like "big fat" and "big red" are a little vague. I think with your talent, you could really give a character an amazing description.

10 out of 10, if I were a ratings man. king [I like this emoticon thing. Odd.]
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The Saucy Manager
The Saucy Manager

Female Pisces Snake
Posts : 878
Join date : 2009-04-30
Age : 29
Location : The backroad sticks of Appalachia

PostSubject: Re: Noodle Shop - That Pest Lune   Thu May 21, 2009 5:19 pm

Nice cliffhanger ending. lol. I enjoyed the story though. Very interesting. I enjoyed it very much. albino Kept me interested, that is a feat in itself. bounce


Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. ---Mark Twain
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